Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The World

In regular Tarot, The World says you’re headed for balance, completion, fulfillment. In Ann’s Fashion Tarot, The World says listen up, sister, your shins are ruined but these $3.99 stick-on crystals will fit right in the channels and the sum might be better than a regular pair of legs.

I mean, in case you were on the way to a fancy lunch meeting and your toe caught the inside of your long black skirt and you pitched forward and slid knees-first down a brick staircase.

And then maybe it didn’t heal well. Maybe you should have sought actual first aid instead of holding a couple paper towels there and tying them with the ropes of your espadrilles? (So you could get through the fancy meeting, I get it. I know. Because you were all dressed up and everything. Long black skirt! Rope espadrilles!)

See also: Judgment. See also: The Tower.

See that you could have done things differently. You could have done this better but you didn’t. In a flash, you did exactly this, and the result is permanently not what you want to wear today.

For the next year you wear long skirts (yawn). For the year after that you try leg makeup (corpsey).

Then maybe  you say, ok, well, I guess these are my legs now.

I guess these are my gougey little mistakes and they deserve some crystal stick-on redemptions. I guess my indelible marks of dumbass should have, at least, accessories. They deserve to feel whole.  To catch the light. To be all done with the last trip and ready for the next.

Ready. Scarred but sparkly. Whole. This is who you are today.

The World is sponsored by Ann’s Fashion Tarot, offering free readings forever. Truly. For real. The future looks supercute on you.