Ann’s Office Outfit Makeover: Jules Nolan

Jules Nolan sings a mean “Jolene” and other tunes when she guests with The Frye. She’s also a prolific travel writer who’s been a lot of places and knows when to dress up, or down, or barely. She’s also a publishing school psychologist who accessorizes with phrases like “aggressive playground behavior” and “dire poverty” and “I find this reality especially concerning.”

So I  shouldn’t really write about her so much as I should step aside and let her tell you what in eff she’s doing curling her eyelashes in the car. Jules, honey. Please explain.

So I am up at 5:30. Some days I sleep until 5:36 but that means shower cap to protect the ‘do and touchup with curling iron only. I try to keep the lights out, cuz at 5:30 it’s dark and lighting up the house would mean that I’m really up and doing this. I shower and brush and moisturize and make it to the kitchen, one eye open.  Then it’s coffee in the travel mug, bottle full of water and a tin of almonds in the bag for breakfast on the road.  Dress in the laundry room and do my hair in the downstairs bathroom. Out of the door by 6:15 and drive bare-faced through the dark accompanied by NPR and coffee and almonds. At Le Sueur I turn the radio to Cities 97 cuz I’ve had enough of violence in Syria and fiscal catastrophes and inert politicians. Sometimes the sky is orange or pink then and the music is good. That is when I wake up for certain.

Oh, good. Fellow commuters, are you hearing this? You’re safe by Le Sueur.

When I get to Belle Plaine I park on the street and face the high school, open the pink plaid kit and set to work. No MAC or Estee Lauder in this kit. Cover Girl and Revlon go with the austere surroundings.

Makeup takes ten minutes tops. Then to the school and to my office and to my students, some of who think that at 80 lbs. they are a fat mess and that the voices in their heads, that tell them they are stupid and worthless, can’t be sent packing.

Why do people tell young women that their emotions are “too big for their bodies” and that is why they are struggling? They would never say that to a boy. It makes girls feel more out of control and gives them anxiety about “going crazy” any time they feel something.

How do people complain that adolescents are rude and lazy when these kids grew up with Enron and doping and sex abuse in the GODDAMNED CHURCH? Who are they supposed to trust? 

I might be angry this morning.  

: )

On second thought, Jules, no makeover necessary. You can do your eyelashes on the fly and whatever else you need. Cuz these are uneasy things to wear to work, and you’re wearing them well.

Next makeover: Carrie Moore is new in town, you guys, and we have to let her know Oxford and Baraboo have nothing on Mankato.