Back-to-school scarves for hell-bent mathletes

I understand a number of high school girls read my posts. That’s awesome, because I think I can help.

I don’t mean with fashion. High schoolers, your fashion is fine, your uniform of lounge pants that say PINK whatever whatever. Not what I would wear but you seem happy and I like how you’re color-coordinated as a group and I’m not going to mess that up. However. Let me tell you a true thing from the adult world. There’s a thing called bar-body. It’s when a person works out pretty much only from the waist up, so as long as their bottom half is hidden by the bar and the dark, they’re really physically imposing. If the bar stool is high and they know how to work it, and as long as everybody stays sitting down, that person can own the room. Own it! In only half the workout time! It’s a mind game like everything else and it has applications for you this school year. The equivalent for you, for your fall semester in AP Statistics or Introduction to Logic or whatever it is that’s your biggest deal, I’m going to call it desk-body. Today’s lesson is DESK-BODY. The bar counter = your desk. Your toned upper limbs = your left brain. The thing you want to conquer is not a barroom, or even the classroom, but math. Own math. Conquer math. Show it you have no fear, you know its game, you wear its game for breakfast. Yes. You meant “wear.” WEAR IT FOR BREAKFAST because AP Stats is first hour and you’re awake and fearless and suited up to checkmate pure logic itself, which has no words. Like your drive to crush this class. NO WORDS. Only scarves.

So much easier than bar-body, because you don’t have to work out.

Just tie these on before class and take them off after.

You don’t have to change the your t-shirt or your ballet flats or whatever keeps you fashion-forward during the rest of your high school day. I’m not really concerned about that. I’m concerned about your confidence and STEM and future salary negotiations and stare-downs and power.

And I’m telling you.

Accessorize with sound reasoning in the form of well-tied silk, and the rest of everything, I mean everything, is yours.