Ann’s Fashion Tarot: Judgment

Here’s the thing. You have to just come out and say it.

That’s what Renee did for me in 2009 after I went to Hair Police in Minneapolis and told them to do “whatever!” and they had no context at all except that I was some lady from downstate who didn’t look very adventuresome by Hair Police standards.


So what did I get? I got the 2009 Midwest lady bob.


I knew it wasn’t good, but I kept telling myself: Maybe this is good??? I called Renee, who is my real actual longtime stylist and the kind who will take you back after a one night stand with Hair Police. She got me in right away. She took one look and said, well, it’s not the shape I would have picked for you.

Which was the best gift anybody could have given me at the time, because it set me free to fully hate what I’d done and focus on how much better my life would be six months down the road when there could at least be a stubby little ponytail. Maybe. In the meantime, I tried to shape it here and there with a disposable razor. I did that late at night in my bathroom with a drink while I listened to John Diliberto’s “Echoes.” Honestly. It was a bad look for me.

Truth is a gift and today is the day you should give it.

Judgment is sponsored by Goth Mom, who is right now folding laundry and thinking about death. You can see that for yourself when you visit Goth Mom on Facebook.

Supplicate to Goth Mom with or without a fashion quandary, and she will give you truth. Oh yes. She will. 

Tomorrow: The World.